29. Various one-liners, part 3

GEORGE CARLIN DID NOT write these

Various one-liners, part 3

  1. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

  2. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

  3. How do blind people know when they are done wiping?

  4. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

  5. Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?

  6. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

  7. One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

  8. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

  9. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

  10. How is it possible to have a civil war?

As with the previous list, these are just mass-forwarded email jokes from the 1990s that somebody later falsely attributed to George Carlin. I noticed that #23 is a rewording of a joke from comedian Robert Schimmel, an awesome stand-up comedian whom I got to meet a year before he died from car crash injuries in 2010. I first heard him do it in the 1988 HBO Rodney Dangerfield special “Nothin’ Goes Right”.