Genuine Carlin Quotes

Stuff that Carlin DID say

Despite all the bogus George Carlin quotations floating around the internet, there are of course plenty of real ones too. Unfortunately, people rarely ever supply the precise source of the quotation ( the name of the Carlin album, or book, or HBO special, etc. that the words are taken from), making it difficult for casual Carlin fans to distinguish a fake quote from a real quote. Sometimes the wording of a quotation is significantly off, too. Most of the time I'm able to immediately recognize a genuine Carlin quote when I see one and tell you where it's from, but other times I need to do some digging to verify it.

Now obviously I can't give you every quotable Carlin line on this page, so here I'm mostly focusing on some of the more popular Carlin quotes that show up on the internet (to make it easier to verify a genuine quote when you see one), and a few personal favorites. I've also added some pictures I made myself for sharing on Facebook. Feel free to download these pics and upload them (unedited of course) to Facebook, Tumblr, wherever. I'll update this page now and then with more additions.

From Brain Droppings (1997):

From Napalm and Silly Putty:

From When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?:

From Last Words:

From FM & AM:

From Class Clown (1972):

From George Carlin: Again! (1978):

From On The Road (1979):

From A Place For My Stuff:

From Carlin on Campus:

From Playin' With Your Head:

From Doin' It Again / Parental Advisory (1990):

From George Carlin: 40 Years of Comedy (1997):

From You Are All Diseased (1999):

From his appearances in the documentary The Aristrocrats (2005):

From It's Bad For Ya (2008):

Other Television


I Kinda Like It When A Lotta People Die.